Part IV : How to give thanks to the Mother of God : Chapter 11 : § 12.6-8

Chapter 11 : Imitation – tenth feature of the gratitude we owe the Mother of God

Continuing our translation of the 1845 reprint of Fr François Poiré’s Triple Crown of the Mother of God (1643 French edition).

Notre Dame des Grâces, Cotignac (Poggi, 2020)

§ 12. How she should be imitated by wives and widows

Fourth quality: a peaceful and recollected spirit

 6   The final quality St Peter mentions[1] is a peaceful and recollected spirit which he says is rich in the sight of God. A gentle, docile and temperate spirit is in truth a treasure not only for a Christian woman but for the whole of her family. How blessed is the house where all is calm, where people live like the holy family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph in Nazareth; where the only words ever heard are gentle, kindly, respectful and charitable; where the husband rules with honour and where the wife manages the household without shouting; where God is honoured and served by all! On the contrary, as the wise Solomon declares[2] and experience teaches : It is better to dwell in a wilderness, than with a quarrelsome and passionate woman. St John Chrysostom[3] adds that:

he personally would prefer to live among dragons, lions and tigers than with an ill-tempered woman; and in fact it would be easier to tame those wild beasts than such a one as her.   

Footnotes

[1] But the hidden man of the heart in the incorruptibility of a quiet and a meek spirit, which is rich in the sight of God: 1 Pet. iii. 4.

[2] Prov. xxi. 19.

[3] Homil. 15 de variis in Matth. locis.

What needs to be remembered by those thinking of marriage

 7    I was about to conclude our discussion here along with the Holy Apostle but there is a further consideration we need to cover, namely the principal way in which those who contemplate marriage should imitate the MOTHER OF GOD. They must take great care to involve God in their marriage, seeking out and following His holy will, and esteeming the wise advice of those who have their true good at heart rather than their own petty flights of fantasy and their vain whimsies. This is wondrously demonstrated in the heavenly prudence of the MOTHER OF GOD, whom I have proposed as an example for them to follow. She allowed herself to be led by the Holy Spirit and subjected herself to those to whom she owed obedience for love of Him, never contributing anything herself other than her fervent prayers and her most humble submission. In this connection I shall mention what we learn from St Epiphanius[1], St Gregory of Nyssa[2], Blessed Sophronius[3], St Germanus (Patriarch of Constantinople)[4], Symeon Metaphrastes[5], Nicephorus[6], Cedrenus[7] and a number of others, both historians and Doctors[8]. They are all in agreement in saying that  

When the Blessed Virgin was approaching the age of fifteen, the priests began to discuss what they should do with her, believing it would be improper for a girl of that age and of such outstanding beauty to stay any longer in their midst. This thought made them resolve to wait for the feast of the first fruits[9] so as to be able to consult with her family who would be obliged to come up to Jerusalem for the celebration. Once they arrived, the question was discussed and it was resolved that she should be married as soon as possible. She was then summoned so that they might hear what she had to say. With angelic humility, a face remarkable for its chaste modesty and with a deeply respectful demeanour, she replied this would not be possible, not only because her mother and father had offered her to God but because she herself was obliged by a vow she had sworn to preserve her virginity. On hearing this, the priests and her relatives were greatly taken aback. Such a vow was a thing unheard of but all were struck by the high opinion they had formed of this holy maiden’s virtue, and they were afraid of committing some sort of sacrilege by giving a man power over a body consecrated to God. On the one hand it seemed there would be a way of satisfying the will of her mother and father by marrying her to a priest so that in this way she would always be dedicated to the service of God. On the other hand, the law was opposed to this because it did not permit a sole heiress to be given in marriage to anyone outside her tribe; and apart from these considerations, their minds were still troubled by having to take into account the vow that the Virgin had made.

Faced with these difficulties, the simplest thing to do was to have recourse to God and to learn from Heaven what should be done. The response they received was to assemble all those men of the House of David currently in Jerusalem who were eligible for marriage. One of them would be chosen by Heavenly lot to be the spouse of the Holy Virgin whilst God would provide for the rest. We can all imagine what must have been the prayers of this holy Maiden and how earnestly she commended her chastity to God. Angels came to visit her and advised her to cast herself fearlessly into the arms of God’s Providence, reassuring her that He would take good care of her. She should however obey the commandment of the priests and everything would be resolved to her satisfaction.

When the day designated for this had come and those men of the royal tribe of David had been assembled, the lot fell to St Joseph, a native of Bethlehem and a carpenter by trade, acknowledged by all to be a man of outstanding merit so that no one could doubt that God was in control of this process. The priest, after obtaining the necessary consents, took the hands of the bride and the groom to join the two parties in the most holy and divine marriage ever celebrated on earth. Everyone present blessed God and offered Him their adoration on account of these signs of His wondrous wisdom. 

If only all Christian marriages could be approached in this way, wisely invoking God and conducting themselves with similar holy intentions! If only people could follow this way of approaching that Sacrament which the Apostle[10] calls great before God and His Church, how different things would be to what happens on a daily basis! Consider what better understanding there would be, what peace and love, what graces and blessings from Heaven there would be to bear the burdens of marriage and to obtain from God a holy posterity! So many marriages, however, are entered into because of concupiscence, or for worldly reasons and from considerations which are base and unworthy of the name Christian, that it is not surprising that there is so much trouble within them and God is glorified so little. 

Footnotes

[1] Hæresi 78.

[2] Orat. de Sancta Christi Nativ.

[3] Orat. de Obitu Mariæ.

[4] Orat. de Oblatione B. Virg.

[5] Orat. de Vita et Dormitione Deip.

[6] Lib. II Eccles. Hist., c. 7.

[7] In Compendio Historiæ.

[8] Vide Christophorum a Castro, Historiæ Deiparæ, c. 4.

[9] Exod. xxiii. 16.

[10] Eph. v.

How widows should imitate the Holy Virgin

 8    There only remains now to show widows the obligation they have to imitate the Holy Virgin in her widowhood and the ways available to do this; but it will be sufficient to read what was written in Part I on the parallel between the Holy Virgin and the chaste Judith, who are two true mirrors and two perfect models for holy widows.

© Peter Bloor 2026 

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The Virgin of Tenderness. >12th century.

SUB tuum præsidium confugimus, Sancta Dei Genitrix. Nostras deprecationes ne despicias in necessitatibus, sed a periculis cunctis libera nos semper, Virgo gloriosa et benedicta. Amen. 

 

Totus tuus ego sum

Et omnia mea tua sunt;

Tecum semper tutus sum:

Ad Jesum per Mariam.

He that hearkeneth to me, shall not be confounded: and they that work by me, shall not sin. They that explain me shall have life everlasting. Ecclesiasticus (Sirach) xxiv. 30-31.